Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. (FOOL!) ~Janice Maeditere

Here we are again. Christmas (ety. Christ's Mass). Don't get me wrong...I love this holiday...mainly as pallid reminiscence of how it used to make me feel as a child. I have to admit, I believed in Santa till the age of 11 (here before judging you should know my parents are deception experts!) and I loved the man so much, every year I would leave so many cookies for him that could have fed a regiment...maybe that's why my father has now type 1 diabetes. 

In recent years though, I can't feel the "magic" in the air anymore; just the stress in the mall. I love buying gifts, especially for the people I care about (2...no maybe 3). I like the whole thing of walking down the street, noticing something that makes you think of a person and just buying it. But Christmas? Oh no that's not how it works. First, you have to come up with a list of people that might buy you a present (nothing more embarrassing than not having anything to give back). Second, try to predict how expensive their gift is gonna be (giving a book when you get a PSP might even be more embarrassing). Third, think about what to buy. I have always been a terrible performer under stress, and no matter the context, the result will always be the same: FAIL. 

And here we are again! I have my list, I have my gifts forecasts, but I still have no idea about what to buy. I even missed black friday...so bye bye potential savings! And Santa knows...I don't have too much money to waste this year.

I wish I were as handy as Martha Stuart and make a decent present out of whatever you have at hand; but I bet her friends are not as picky as mine. My best friend, last year, was like :"you know Livio, I could really use something from Tiffany's. But please don't buy that cheap stuff everyone is wearing, but still make sure people can tell that it is from Tiffany's", or another friend " Livio, you know what?, I would really love a hat, you know Jacki-O style, although sometimes she didn't have much of a style...so let's say Jacki-O style but nothing Maria Callas wouldn't wear"....I know it seems hard, but I'm gay so I was able to pull it off.

This year no directions, only higher expectations. Hence, I'm screwed. I'm seriously thinking of being my own Santa and getting myself a trip to Hawaii. Nah they would still get at me...for some reasons they always know where I am. I wouldn't be surprised if the full body scan at the airport, besides my love handles, will also expose a tracking device implanted in my body.

So I guess less bitching and more thinking. -.-'

Merry Xmas to you all!